Shizuku is a young girl in middle school who starts out just floating around in her books. She hasn’t much through to the world outside of her or her books. It’s only when she starts on an adventure that she starts changing the way she see’s herself.
This movie is supposed to be a light-hearted love story revolving around the power of inspiration and passion, but the way those themes are portrayed irritate me. From the beginning of the movie, as is usually intended by the writers, I started to identify with Shizuku. I know what it means to escape to another world in books, anime, movies and I have the same dedication to writing as she does. However, I started becoming frustrated with her character as her passion developed, and she started locking her self away. Once she started listening to the “whisper of her heart”, she shoved the passion deep inside herself and decided not to let anyone in.
I have quite the developed personal philosophy on this subject. This is not how passion works! At least, in my opinion. As my love of writing started developing, I would run around the kitchen dancing and telling my mother about all my intricate plots and tragic character deaths. As I grew, I needed others to grow accustom to the person I was creating inside myself as I wrote. Shizuku trapped herself in the person she used to be, not allowing anyone to know the beautiful person she was becoming on the inside. What also troubled me was the fact her parents sat her down so she could vent to them – and she still was not willing to share the beauty inside her. Her sour rebellious attitude clouded the pure delicate child she was discovering. Since my mother knows my stories inside and out, I felt bad for Shizuku’s mother who will never get to experience a young teenage girl lying on the kitchen counter weeping over the intensity of her own stories. (Yes, I have done that)
Doing passion on one’s own is a very sad thing to me. I believe that passion is a form of art no matter how intense it is. Art, is mean to be shared and adored by others. It cannot be kept locked in a cage. Yes, Shizuku did share her story the moment it was finished with Shiro, but look at all the pain that came out in her tears after someone had peered into her soul. The difficult part for me to understand is why she felt forced to keep everything to herself. Much of it was from pressure from parents and culture, but she did put up her own boundaries fro hiding her art on her own insinuative. Her parents wanted her dearly to go to high school, but that was counter to how she felt. Being forced to make the decision to listen to her parents or her heart caused Shizuku to feel forced to recluse inside herself, causing her much damage.
There’s a song we sing in worship sometimes that has to do with this topic. It’s very short but to the point. It’s called, “Set a Fire” by United Pursuit Band. Some of the lyrics are:
“So set a fire down in my soul that I can’t contain and I can’t control…”
This song is hard for me to sing, because it’s counter how I feel. I usually pray in my head as the lyrics pass my ears, “Lord, I have a HUGE fire in my soul and I don’t know if I can keep it shoved down in my heart any longer or I’ll pass out.”
I tell God, there is no way I can be passionate on my own, I NEED him to help me carry the intense emotion and passion that I already have. I can’t fit anything else inside. Shizuku did not have a special person to help her carry to burden of passion until she developed a relationship with Seji, who also struggled with the burden of passion. But that time in the middle is very difficult for me to watch, because I know Shizuku was suffering a lot more then the movie showed.
The song above, reminds me of how I can’t keep my passion to myself. I need my mother to listen to me as she makes dinner, and I need God to give me strength and direction for my passion. It can be very, VERY difficult when I feel like no one understands my passions and emotions. I do often feel alone, and that’s something I’m working through. That’s why I feel passion is a doubled edged sword. God gave me passion and direction simultaneously, but I don’t always have someone who can understand that to the degree I need. As much as I want it, I’m not going to expect God to give me a Seji, at least not in this period of life.
Are there any things you’re terribly passionate about that make you feel like Shizuku or me? It doesn’t even have to be artistic, perhaps it’s computer programming, or cooking. There are all sorts of things in this world that lives strong in our hearts that bring us the most pleasure and suffering in this world. I believe we need to be blunt about what they are with each other or we’re not using our gifts to their full potential.